Inspired by Nine Inch Nails’s “Hurt” cover. Rest in Pepperonis Bird Person.
A guitar strums 3 notes individually. A voice comes through the dead empty noise, beginning the song. Nothing could compare to this moment. A familiar metallic taste seeped into my mouth as I watched it happened. His voice was soft yet raw, as if he’s seen it too. The ends of my mouth formed a crooked smile, though I’m not feeling anything. After everything, it still amounted to this. Running away, lying, wearing thousands of masks, nothing worked. Nothing feels real at all. I looked up to the sky and the clouds blocked the sun, hiding it’s blinding light. I kept waiting for rain… yet nothing came. Are you mocking me, god? I thought disgusted. No warmth from the sun, no rain to wash away the mess. I sat down on a dry part of the ground, and stared at them.
“What have I done” I whispered brokenly with the singer. I turned up the volume of the music, loud enough to silence my thoughts. My hands came close to touching the other puddles of blood surrounding me. As I moved my hands closer to my body, I tried to recall what happened earlier. My brain throbbed in pain trying to remember, however I could pick up small bits of what’s happened earlier. Everything was blurry and unrecognizable, figures of people stood in front of me speaking muffled words. They all looked the same, nothing distinguishing them or identifying them. The more I lingered on their faces, the more painful it got until I stopped trying. I gazed upon the mess once more, looking worse than before. Bodies scattered around me, lifeless and bloody. Some had guns in their hands while others had it nearby. Then there was her. Lying down on her back while staring at the sky. Her golden blond hair not tainted at all by the blood nearby her. She looked familiar, yet nothing came to surface.
“There was no way of avoiding this” a deep voice whispered in my ear. A chill went down my spine. I looked at my shoulders to see large, black, pointed claws gently holding on. Small details shined in the light, reminded me of wood. “Everything up to this point, you couldn’t run away this time” he spoke.
“I could. Just didn’t think of one” I muttered
“Time is not in your favor, you will become it again. And you won’t be able to control it, again. Like this time”
“Leave. I don’t want to hear it” his claws vanished from my shoulders.
“Our deal draws near. Become the beast, let yourself be at ease. Or suffer as you watch your beloved fall before your eyes.” The unnerving vibe vanished, leaving me be.
“Then take it! I don’t want it anymore! You want to make me a monster go ahead! I’m sick of this!” I yelled into nothingness. Would it matter? Everyone’s gone… Did I really do this? Why are you still here?! A voice echoed in the back of my mind. It wasn’t the lurking demon, it sounded like mine. I desperately reached for the memory, only obtaining fragments. Everything crumbles around me… Don’t move!… not leaving… You are someone else… I shook my head furiously, trying to get rid of the pain. I’m so tired from all of this… I thought. My body begged me to sleep, yet my mind kept working nonstop. I looked up to her again. “You… I know you can hear, do you remember what happened?” She didn’t respond, nor make any subtle movement. “Please talk, I’m dying to talk to someone” I gave a nervous laugh, then sighed. “Giving me a silent treatment, I don’t blame you”
Time rewound before my eyes, rewinding like a vhs tape. It began playing again when I was alone in a rocky area. No matter where I ran, they followed. The weight of the wings couldn’t match the burden I carried. And she followed along. Clinging onto me after nearly killing hundreds.
“Can’t be running away all the time” she smirked at me.
“Why did you follow me?” I asked her “You know they’re after me.”
“Back there, you were quite different” she said walking over to me. “At first I didn’t recognize you, but seeing you now…”
“______, please not now. I will explain everything once we get somewhere safe”
“It’s kinda ironic how it all came down to this” she said with a hollow laugh. “I was hired to take down some speculated monster killing everyone. Then you tagged along with me… and here you are! And now I’m supposed to kill you?”
“I didn’t mean to kill anyone!” I argued “If I explained, it’d just sound like an excuse to you”
“You’re not you… It’s like seeing someone else now” Then they stampeded through the scene, surrounding us. Something inside me cracked.
“Don’t move!” one of the faceless soldiers yelled at me.
“I got it under control” she told them. Knowing them, they’d kill both of us. Friend or foe, it doesn’t matter to them.
“Back away from the beast, miss” he responded “Or we’ll shoot you both”
Everything became muffled by a constant ringing in my ears. Nothing I did made it go away. Faces became blurry and unrecognizable as the ringing became louder. Like a broken vhs, the memories abruptly ended. Everything still was unclear yet it made more sense. “Was it worth it? Going after me, probably finishing me off? Then making me remember it?” I said to her.
I kept waiting for a response, but she lied there without a word. I looked at myself, rugged with clothes torn and bloody, miserable creature is what I’d call myself. Glancing back to her, none of this could’ve happened. “I’m sorry for everything” I apologetically told her as I got up. “Could’ve been better if I just kept to myself.” I walked over to her and knelt down. “It was nice to be with you while it lasted.” Once again, I took off and flied away. No point in lingering in a graveyard, or the past. Besides, looking at her is just painful. A beautiful red rose blossomed on her chest from what I saw. I didn’t want to look any closer to determine whether it was a gunshot or claw mark. The song grew loud, reminding me of the ringing I heard earlier but different. Eventually it faded into silence, concluding the song.